Over Time
by peachy0917
Summary: A series of song-shots. Eddie and Loren have broken up but are both still in love with one another.
1. Chapter 1

**It has been years since I have seen him. How anything that good turned out as badly as it they did is something I will never know. I mean I still love him. I know he still loves me, but the things he's done... I wonder what he wants. Should I meet him?I haven't seen him. The last time I saw him was the day of the breakup. I know my brain says no, but my heart says yes. My heart wins today. **

I decide to walk into the all too familiar penthouse, and see an all too familiar person. This is his place. The place we spent countless hours together. Be strong Loren. You can't take him back. Remember what he did to you. I can love him, but I can't forgive him.

"Hi." He whispers just above his breath.

Those butterflies I had years ago come rushing back. My heart just wants to jump back in like nothing ever happened. I take a step forward. I feel tempted to just kiss him, but my brain tells me not to. I feel nervous.

_**When we meet again**_

_My bones will ache_

_My muscles shake_

_My blood will rush_

_My face will flush_

He still looks at me like he did all those years ago. Everything just stops. Time stops for our moment just being there. He looks almost the same, but there is something different about him I can't point my finger on it. He still looks as amazing as he did last time I saw him.

_When we meet again_

_Your eyes will drop_

_My heart will stop_

_The time will show_

_Your hair has grown_

_We are alone, now_

Everything is all of a sudden real. He's really here. I'm really here. I try to tell myself I don't love him, but I know I'm just lying to myself. The way things ended was uncalled for though. I mean I know he still loves me too. I don't think I can move past the things he has done. Yes he loves me, but I can't forgive him. I mean he was my everything. He was my best friend, and my feelings for him will never cease to exist.

_Oh, i want you some_

_But oh,_

_The things you've done_

_Oh, you love me some_

_But oh_

_You son of a gun_

Suddenly I whisper back " hi." He starts talking again and everything comes flooding back. All our memories. I remember the good times we had together. I remember the bad times. I really remember that breakup though. Things ended. They were not meant to be. Loren. It's over. You broke up with Eddie over three years ago. He knows what he did was wrong. He knows you had a reason to break up with him.

_When we meet again_

_The past will flash_

_It's all rehashed_

_Our ship has sailed_

_Train derailed_

_Engine failed us_

Well this is awkward. No one is even talking. Should I try to start a conversation?Maybe he will start talking… or maybe not.

"Um Eddie" I just managed to mumble that out.

"Yeah Loren?" He says as he looks at me with his deep brown, pleading eyes.

Please don't do that. Eddie don't make me feel bad. I mean I'm still attracted to you isn't that enough?

_My skin can sense_

_The evidence_

_Of our tenseness_

_Our pheromones_

_All alone_

_Could make us moan_

_But we won't let them_

"Why am I here?" As I say this my voice raises, and I sense trouble.

"Loren. I love you. I always will okay. No need to be a bitter bitch just because I missed you. I wanted to see you, but obviously that was a mistake."

"And you would know all about mistakes wouldn't you Eddie!? I mean you're like the master of mistakes. You made one big enough to ruin our whole relationship!"

"Loren I loved you. I gave you every damn thing I had. I was willing to because I loved you. You know I still do, but I don't remember the Loren I know being such a drama queen maybe that's why your dad left you. "

" We're done here. Don't call me. Don't text me. Better yet just loose my number. I'm not really into douche bags trying to contact me. You know what I'll make this easier for you."

I take out my phone and throw it towards his feet but purposely miss.

" You loose my number too."

He matches my action, and throw his phone at the ground, but his aim isn't even close to me.

"Bye Eddie."

**"Bye Loren."**

**That's it. I just walked out like that.**

_When we meet again_

_We'll pick a fight_

_You know i bite hard_

_Do your friends know_

_You're not in rome_

_We'll smash our phones_

_And disappear_

_In two directions_

_Alone_

_**Don't know if anyone still reads my stories, but I like writing them. If anyone reads let me know what you think. **_


	2. Chapter 2

I guess really thinking about it, our love was doomed. It wouldn't have worked out because it wasn't meant to be. If Eddie didn't do what he did we still wouldn't end up together. I believe in destiny. We just must not be destined to be together. Sometimes I just wonder about the breakup. It all just happened so quickly. I didn't really even have time to process what was going on until it was all over.

Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street

Faster than the wind, passionate as sin ending so suddenly

Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall

Like the colors in autumn, so bright just before they lose it all

Once I came to the sudden realization of all the event that had happened I was in a drought. I missed him. I wanted to go knock on his door and be with him. He never left my mind. I tried going on dates with other guys, but Eddie would always pop into my head. He was the best. The way I felt around him. It was just amazing being with him and loving.

Losing him was blue like I'd never known

Missing him was dark grey all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met

But loving him was red

Loving him was red

The first time we kissed it was like magic. It was the most amazing feeling. I just never wanted it to end. That was the one face I could never get out of my head. I mean his eyes were just those deep chocolate eyes. The way his dimples appeared when he smiled. That's face I didn't want to get out of my head.

Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you

Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song

I try to remember out best times, but it's not like we always got along. We did have fights. Some of them were really bad too. I mean it's not like he ever hit me or anything. It was just real emotional scarring for both of us at some point. The best part was always making up tough. I mean the make- up sex was mind blowing. Our love for each other just made it that much better. We just clicked. I fell head over heals for him. I mean I loved him more than I ever thought was possible.

Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer

Regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong

When it ended I could be in a room full of people and still feel so alone. Gosh I missed him. I just always wanted to cry. I couldn't ever get him out of my head. Him and his mesmerizing eyes well let's just say he had me under his spell. The thrill of being with him was just endless. The butterflies never went away with him, and I think that just made me love him even more.

Losing him was blue like I'd never known

Missing him was dark grey all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met

But loving him was red

Oh, red

Burning red

Those memories frequently appear in my head. Our conversations echo in my head. I keep pushing myself to move on. I push myself to stop loving him. I push myself on dates with other people. It never works. Even though all these years have passed he somehow still has me under his spell. He's a charmer alright. He made me feel special. He made me feel like I was the only girl in the world. I was living in a fairytale.

Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes

Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go

But moving on from him is impossible

When I still see it all in my head

Burning red

Loving him was red

Losing was really tough. It tore me up emotionally. It was like I was there in a room, but I was completely lost. I couldn't carry on a conversation longer than one minute. I felt desperate. I really missed him. I wanted to be with him. I would just start driving to his place. I would sit in the parking lot for hours debating whether I should go in or not. The logical answer was always no. Of course being in that parking lot brought back memories, so I just missed him even more. It's like I could un-do anything that happened. He was still everywhere to me. Everything reminded me of him. I would turn on the radio and hear him singing. How could I forget him when everyone knows who he is? It's hard enough with just getting over him but when everyone talks about him it just makes it harder. That's not why I can't get over him though. It's the fact that our love was just passionate. We connected emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. Our relationship was romantic, thrilling, and just loving. It was just amazing having that connection with someone.

Oh, losing him was blue like I'd never known

Missing him was dark grey all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met

'Cause loving him was red

Yeah, yeah, red

We're burning red

He's always there. He always will be. I can't forget him. Even if I wanted to I couldn't forget him. He was someone I formed a bond with. He was someone I really got to know and love. You can not just loose your feelings over night, but now those feelings have subsided some. They may dwindle even more, but they will never completely go away. I will always love Eddie Duran.

And that's why he's spinnin' 'round in my head

Comes back to me, burning red

Yeah, yeah

I replay things over and over thinking things I could have done to prevent our break up. I could have tried to convince him we could trust each-other. I could have just tried to make him feel more comfortable. All in all there is nothing I could have done. It was his choice. He made the wrong one. He loved me just so in the end he could ruin it all.

His love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street

***BASED OFF OF THE SONG RED BY TAYLOR SWIFT.**


	3. Chapter 3

Sometimes I just wish we had fought for us. I wish I had tried harder to find a way to make us work. I know it wouldn't have been easy. We could have sorted through our problems. I just wish I could go back and try that. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by these thoughts. Actually a lot of times. I just drift in to my own world full of these thoughts. Sometimes it's hard to think of anything but that. Then I just always try to bring myself back into the real world. I can't spend time thinking about what ifs. I need to concentrate on where I am now.

_**I've been looking for a fight **_

_**All the trouble that I know**_

_**Trying to lose the world inside **_

_**But it's got no place to go **_

I feel like when I walked into Eddie's I was prepared to fight to distance myself from him. I just had put things into my head that I could say that I know would hurt him. I thought the best thing to do would be to hurt him so he would stop thinking about me. I thought of comebacks to defend myself. I mean I could defend the reason I was being so hostile. Then Eddie spiraled back with harsh comments. I wondered if he was doing it for the same reasons. Was he trying to hurt me too? Or did he really think of me that way?

_**Oh I'm armed and dangerous **_

_**At the whim of my command **_

_**I've been searching for an angle **_

_**For a cause I can defend **_

As I walk around the parking lot I realize now is not a time for me to be alone. I find a pay phone. I insert the money. Then, I quickly dial Melissa. After three rings I hear her voice. "Hello" "Mel. I'm in the parking lot of Eddie's place. Can you come get me?" "I'm on my way. See you in ten." "Thanks Mel." Her maroon car pull up eight minutes later. "Home?" she asks in a comforting voice. I quickly nod and she pulls out. I feel like I should tell her everything. I want to tell her about my battle with Eddie. I also want to tell her about the battle I've been having with myself. These riots that are constantly disturbing my peace. Then for some reason I feel I don't need to tell Mel because something in me tells me that she already knows. We walk in and Mel takes out her phone and asks to stay the night at my place. This immediately makes me feel better.

_**Oh take me home **_

_**Let me go all day **_

_**Just be here til I know **_

_**Til I know that the riot's gone, the riot's gone away **_

I basically have this curse of not being able to move on. And that post breakup sex I had once does not qualify as moving on. Nor do all ten dates that I've been on. The relationship we had was just so close to being perfect. It was a great love. It was a life changing love. I think everyone can see the effect the breakup had on me. Correction the effect the breakup HAS on me. I mean I have not been the same person. I just can't be myself anymore. I can't be happy without him. As hard as I try it never works out because I still love him and denying that would just be a waste of time. I'd be lying to everyone including myself if I said I think things are over because I know I can't seem to let go, and I don't think he wants to let go either.

_**I've been haunted all my life **_

_**On the brink of something close **_

_**People know that I ain't right **_

_**Know I'm grappling with a ghost **_

The words that came out of my mouth hurt him. I can't forgive myself for that. The words were my only weapon though. And as he spat back words at me I felt hopeless. I just felt like shutting down after our quarrel. I was just sinking into a pit of despair. Only if one day I could finally be done. If I could just go back to the way things were before I met him but I won't. I need to get real and realize that I'm in a never-ending non-relationship. It keeps me from moving on though and I guess I need to just accept that.

_**Oh I'm armed and dangerous, **_

_**And I'm deafened by the fray**_

_**Waiting for the day I'm able **_

_**And I said it all this way **_

So I just sat there for the hundredth time crying to Mel about how fucked up I am. I mean I feel like I should hate Eddie but I know if he wanted to give us another shot that I would say yes in a heartbeat. Mel knows that it's her cue to attempt to comfort me by whispering it's okay Lo I'm here for you. I try to smile because I want Mel to know I appreciate her company but I know I still appear bleak. It suddenly hits me. The only way to solve all my problems is to get back together with Eddie. Eddie is my problem, yet he is the solution to my problem.

_**Oh take me home **_

_**Let me go all day **_

_**Just be here til I know **_

_**Til I know that the riot's gone, the riot's gone away**_

**This is the song The Riot's Gone by Santigold. **


End file.
